All’s well that ends.
It’s not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.
When all else fails, read the directions.
Welcome to Hell. Here’s your accordion.
He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke.
Never hit a guy with glasses. Always use your fists.
The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Dyslexics of the world untie!
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defense.
Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.
Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature
“Inside me, There’s a thin women trying to get out. But i can usually shut the cow up with chocolate.”
All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!
Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say “are you gonna drink that?”
I’v got 2 sit down & work out where i stand!!!
Wen u smile the world smiles with u.wen ur down people will rally behind u.but wen u fart u r alone coz people will never stand by u!
People ask me if id pefer to go to hell or heaven i say hell coz its nice and warm down there
Im a nobody.. nobodys perfect.. therefore IM PERFECT!!!
I didnt kiss ur boyfriend! I told his lips a secret!!